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If the mood strikes him, Falcon might honor the request. Tonight, no one asks to see it. But Falcon cannot buy a subway token or purchase a candy bar without causing a hushed pandemonium.

Falcon wedges himself into the first subway car bound for Yankee Stadium and grabs one of the overhead straps. Falcon hates Boogie Nights.

Most of all, Falcon hates that he had been writing his own screenplay about the life of a guy with a huge penis, a better screenplay than Boogie Nights, one with real dialogue, where the main character ends up with a life, a meaningful life.

At age twelve, Jonah enrolled at an East Harlem school for brainy kids. Teachers were astounded by his fine intellect, but they were also struck by his awkward social skills.

He could have taught my class. But he was a strange kid. By fifteen, he had reached Sometimes he agreed, studying their facial reactions for signs of amazement and wonder.

He looked, he says, for signs that people liked him. I really remember him being alone. By the time he had graduated from junior high school, Jonah was thriving in the stratosphere of mathematics.

But even there, his craving for attention and his lack of social skills painted him as an outcast. He told no one at school about his secret and thanked God that students were not required to strip for gym class.

After school, he worked on his computer, read science fiction and tracked his weekly penis growth. His grades began to slip — 80, then 70, then But he never stopped measuring himself.

One afternoon when he was fifteen, two men approached him outside Bronx Science. Have you had sex yet? Would you be interested in making some money?

Then he went home and worked on his computer. Falcon is in his element at Yankee Stadium. Armed with two hot dogs, a jumbo pretzel and a Diet Coke, and with his bag safely over his groin, he begins a monologue — on baseball, life, baseball, sex, baseball, acting and baseball — that will motor on until well after the final pitch.

There are a half-dozen independent conversations in progress around him in the cheap seats, and Falcon manages to insert himself into each of them.

Kids grin at his knowledge, and he grins back. While his high school classmates tossed their caps at graduation and toasted to success at Brown and MIT, Falcon vowed to follow his heart and become an actor.

Or a writer. But first there was the matter of baseball. For two years, Cardeli had saved up the tuition for the Rich Martin All-Star Baseball Camp, where they both thought Jonah might take his first steps toward becoming a Yankee.

He made several spectacular fielding plays before camp let out. Falcon enrolled in a state college to study theater. I will become an artist.

While other aspiring artists took classes and rehearsed, Jonah made nightclubs his audition hall. People noticed him.

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